Catharsis
I'm very careful about what I write on this blog. I waited several months before telling the story in the last post. Partly because I'm just now getting to where it's not just an irrational, expletive laden rant on evil assholes and partly because I'd had a long discussion with a friend earlier in the day and I wanted to get my thoughts straight. I wrote it for me and it was cathartic. It wasn't meant to say anything about anyone but me. If anything, it was a cautionary tale to myself that things can be bad and they can be hellish, and sometimes I just need to stop and assess where I am and what I should do about it. Get the bitterness out and move the fuck on.Why didn't I quit instead of letting things get to where they got? What the hell was I doing to myself for all those months? Because while I could blame the job, ultimately it fell on me to do something about it. Why wasn't I looking for new jobs last April (when companies were actually hiring)? Why was I just miserably trooping into my office day after day?
Once I realized how destructive the situation was, I finally started looking into ways around the very real barriers to finding adequate paying work in a very rural location. But you know that was several months later than it should have been.
No matter how bad it seems, there are always options. I should have done something and I'm pissed as hell at myself for not acting before things started affecting my health, my self-confidence and my personal life.
posted by E @12:05 AM