More Letters
Dear Torii,I'm not upset about you missing the ball (although what the hell were you thinking?). No, what upsets me is your offense. Let's review shall we? Michael and Justin open the inning with back to back jacks. We've now tied the game, the crowd is going insane, a new pitcher is in, there are no outs. Did you get that Torii? No outs. So the goal here is to keep the inning going. Get on base get some more hits. What the hell are you doing swinging at the first pitch? You're not hitting a home run here. If you get 12 million next year I'm going to be sick.
Much Annoyed,
E
Dear MLB Commissioner Bud Selig and the ESPN/FOX People,
Did you see the Yankee game last night? Oh, it was rained out and they have to play at noon today? I'm sorry. Did you know that there was a team with an indoor stadium playing yesterday? No rainout possible in that situation. Definite prime time baseball action. Did you know that the Mets also played yesterday in the afternoon? Did you notice that it didn't rain then? Yes, had the Yankees played an afternoon game there would have been no problem. Hmmm.
Helpfully,
E
PS Not informing the Tigers that the game was called so that they warmed up their pitcher is majorly unfair. You suck big time for that.
Dear Beer Throwing Guy,
I'm sure weighing over 3 bills is fun for you, but do you think you could take a shower every once in a while? Also, throwing beer at people is not cool. I'm glad you were thrown out.
-E
Dear Usher,
You are awesome. From taking on the guy about 150 pounds heavier than you to that adorable grin you gave when the idiot next to me served the beach ball right into your hands, you were the highlight of the game.
Fondly,
E
Dear Guy Behind Me Who Wanted My Neighbor's Beer,
Much as I would have loved to help you get that beer, the five dollars you offered me was not going to cut it. Especially not with my dad at the game with me. Had I had some alcohol of my own and been out with friends - No, it wasn't too much to ask. Plus with $5, I could get more tequila postgame. Sadly, the circumstances were all wrong.
Better Luck Next Time,
E
posted by E @7:50 AM