I Have a 3 Hour Meeting Starting in 5 Minutes...
I keep having this sharp pain at the back of my head. It's not a headache and painkillers do nothing for it. I wonder if I'm dying?
Sunday night I did some serious work with the exercise ball. Rather than using the tape which damn near killed every muscle in my body except my abs, I just did crunches. My entire stomach felt it yesterday. I'm excited by the idea that my back didn't hurt and my stomach may actually get some sort of workout from this.
I've actually started the process of "exploring alternate career opportunities". I even asked a couple of people to be references, which is really a lot further than I've ever made myself go before. Of course, one must actually continue the process and search and apply for things - that tends to be where I get lazy and stop the process. I wonder how bad things have to get before I start actively searching every day?
Sunday Night Television
So last night I watched two delightful hours of Sue Johanssen. Now granted I was flipping channels because sometimes people are just dumb, but the show is endlessly entertaining. Some examples (content must be work friendly - please allow for alternate wording):
-Caller wanted to know what she thought about using Pop Rocks to enhance his/her oral pleasure. Sue was like, What? No. Bad idea.
-Caller wondered if her boyfriend was abnormally large then started giving dimensions. The guy apparently allowed measurement in its relaxed state but then got wise to the idea that she was going to call in to a national television show with these measurements and drew the line at measuring his impressive non-relaxed state.
-The product(s) of the night were lubes - specifically the differences between them and what you'd use them for. This was a good segment I'm sure for people in the market and it's not significant in its content so much as significant in the special guest who was a "S Toy Researcher". Rather than watching the blah, blah, blah about silicone vs. oil vs. water based debate, my mind turned to the interview for his job. Can you imagine the topics that come up in that discussion? None of these topics are work appropriate sadly.
-My favorite parts of the show are when someone asks a question about something and she simply reaches under her desk and pulls out the prop she needs. I'd love to see the inventory under there.
Strangeness in the Night
Last night I had a very strange dream. I apparently decided to visit a friend without really making any plans with her. Said friend lives a very long plane ride away. I showed up at her door and she was all cool about it, but as we were getting ready to go out and paint the town red, I realized what I was doing. While dreaming my thoughts were that this was not real and I'm dreaming because I would never do this to anyone. I even pinched myself in the dream. This confirmed I was dreaming because I felt no pain. After a bit more of the dream, I rolled over in bed and was exceedingly glad I had not just showed up at my friend's house. Really weird.
My next dream included my mother going crazy and my great-grandmother still alive with my living grandmother (her daughter) dead. It was all very strange.
As an aside, my great-grandma was awesome and absolutely adored the Twins. I always felt bad that she died in 2000 just before the Twins began to make their turn around. She suffered through the miserable teams in the nineties. She should have gotten to experience the joys of the Division Championships.
Beyond this I've got nothing. Although I did read an article speculating about a leveraged buyout of my company by KKR. KKR is like Richard Gere's company in Pretty Woman - buy a huge corporation and then sell the pieces for more than the whole. It will be interesting to see what happens.
No Taxation Without Representation
Just what the hell is so difficult that businesses cannot get me my tax information in a timely manner? It is January 25 and I have not received one piece of tax reporting information yet. No 1099s, no W-2s, no 1098. My company knows how much I made last year. In fact, they knew to the penny in March. Why can they not have the W-2s set to print immediately after the first of the year? Waiting and waiting for forms is ridiculous, especially when I'm not really sure how many forms I'm supposed to have for reporting. Last year, one came in after I had already filed. I had estimated high on my tax form so I wasn't worried but it's not a huge surprise that there are so many people who can't file their taxes on time. Nobody has the information they need before the end of February. Do you know how difficult it is to see an accountant in March?
Of course, I have my December mortgage report, my final paycheck from last year and the bank was nice enough to put a little note at the bottom of my December statement telling me what they were reporting to the IRS so I can actually do my taxes. Unfortunately, I can't send them in until I receive the damn forms.
I did read about free money yesterday in the form of an excise tax rebate so $30 more for me.
Dammit I want my money back. This is all a conspiracy by the federal government and my company to keep me from getting it.
Just the 10 of us
I remember watching that show. I always thought it was an impossibility. Who would voluntarily have ten kids on a teacher's salary? Insanity does not even begin to cover this - especially with the kids they had.
So last night I watched a show about a family with 8 kids. One set of twins (aged 5) and sextuplets (aged 16 months). Normally when you watch the stories about people with multiples, it's all about the scary pregnancy, the one kid who is not fully developed having setbacks, the craziness of the house. But it always glosses over the problems people face. The mother will say something like, "Oh we don't have any time to talk anymore or be together as a couple, but everything's just peachy." Or they'll say, "It's hard work but we can do it with this handy-dandy schedule." The couples are usually smiling, claim they never had any resentment or regrets about things and generally just pretend everything is great. This family was different.
They freely admitted that the day they found out about the 7 babies (she lost one early in the pregnancy) was the worst day of their lives. The husband must have been especially pissed because he hadn't really wanted another child at all. The father said that he immediately thought of their twin girls and how this would ruin the girls' lives. Flat out said he thought that it would destroy their lives. They refused reduction and had the kids.
Their lives changed crazily and the husband and wife were very open about the changes. The husband said he missed his wife's beautiful long blond hair which had morphed into being very short and brown. The woman's stomach was totally destroyed - it would be really tough to be turned on if you had to look at that (it looked like a really old person's butt was attached to her stomach). They also said it was always really loud. And were very straight when they said you don't ever get used to it.
I loved their honestly and them not trying to put on a happy face for the cameras. They were themselves and I think that they are probably the most functional family I've seen on this type of show. Even better in the follow-up episode, the mother got a free tummy tuck from someone who had seen the show and wanted to help. I don't think she could adequately express how excited she was about this development. Post surgery her stomach looked fantastic.
Things That Drive Me Crazy
-People who wear so much perfume/cologne that they leave a trail of scent behind them. Negative bonus points to those who choose cheap or not so nice smelling scents.
-People who stop in the middle of a hallway/walkway to look around and/or carry on a conversation that could otherwise happen not in the way of where crowds of people are trying to walk.
-The constant use of disorientated in place of disoriented. Just because a word is technically in the dictionary, doesn't mean you should use it. I would be pleased if editors would make note of this.
-Equally disturbing is the constant misspelling of definitely. Let's all stop with the definately please. Makes me think you've spelled defiantly wrong and then I get really confused.
-Authors who write very well in their chosen genre changing genres to fit with the "popular" mold. Most authors aren't very good at this - particularly when they wrote historical fiction and are now writing contemporary novels. The characters are mostly anachronistic and annoying. It spoils their novels and makes me never want to read anything they've published ever again.
-Also included in the novel category is the ridiculous trend of writing about vampires. Anne Rice has a lot to answer for. Incidentally, apparently she's realized this as well and has stopped writing vampire novels. Let's just pretend this is due to her realization that she is responsible for the horrid trend toward vampire novels and not due to her finding Jesus.
My Life is Interesting
The title of this delightful entry comes courtesy of a friend who responded that way when I told her what I've been up to for the past few years. There may also have been a "Wow!" preceding it. I know. I'm in shock too. I'm thinking we need to have more communication between us - if only to boost my assessment of satisfaction with my life. I also got an invite to visit her which I'm definitely going to take her up on.
As to my "interesting" life, I'm not so sure. This weekend I turned down a babysitting job and went to dinner and a movie. It's not like me to turn down money so I can spend it, but I needed to get out and I knew it. We went to see Pan's Labyrinth which was an extremely brutal war movie, not the fantasy film the trailer makes it out to be. It was also in Spanish which wouldn't have been a problem if I could have read the subtitles. Sadly, the guy in front of me was in the way a lot of the time. The subtitles? Pretty important to the storyline.
We went to the Rainbow Room for dinner. It was quite excellent. Even better, I didn't have to pay for the meal. Free food is good.
Yep, my life is just fascinating.
Money, so they say, is the root of all evil today
I've mentioned before the marked efforts of people to give me money. Largely, this was money I was supposed to receive but had simply forgotten about. That said, yesterday I got yet another check in the mail. This time it was from the garbage company that I haven't used in almost two years. I have no clue why they sent me money. I'm telling you, it's like God looked around and thought, "E needs some money." Then he pointed to the trash company and said, "You there - Send E a check."
In other news, it seems the natural gas company has reevaluated my usage and decided to lower my monthly budget plan payment to $24. For every degree I lower my thermostat, I save money. It's quite nice to see this reflected in my bill. And yes, I recognize that a warmer than normal winter had some effect on my usage, but whatever, my bill went down $9 a month.
Gather round, you friends of mine. We're Wilderness Girls and it's cookie time!
I hate the Girl Scouts. Why you ask? Because they send their little children out to sell overpriced, bad tasting cookies and get these girls' parents to peddle the things at the office. We have two "cute" pictures and notes in our lunchroom from girls asking us to please buy their cookies. Since I didn't know either of the parents I just ignored them. Now today, I came in and saw someone in my department is selling them for her granddaughter. No, no, no. Absolutely not.
Truthfully, it's not just the Girl Scouts offers that show up at my office (although they're the most pervasive). I'm sick of it. Kids can't go door to door these days, but foisting the fundraising off on the parents who then shove them down my throat at the office is sickening. We must stop the madness.
Incidentally, Chica Barnfell, Wilderness Girl Extraordinaire, has a page on MySpace. And Troop Beverly Hills is still an enjoyable watch if only to marvel at Shelley Long's red hair and "khaki wishes and cookie dreams."
Just a few things to discuss
1. It seems that the Twins have signed Matthew LeCroy. Because it would cause dissention and misunderstanding among the idiots on certain Twins sites, I thought I would make my thoughts clear on this signing here. I'm sure you know what's coming.
LeCroy sucks.
2. The other day I watched this show on parasites. Round worms opened the show (apparently 1.5 billion people in the world have these and most don't know it). I'm looking into the herbal killing methods for these things just in case. Tape worms followed. Given the dinner conversation on New Year's, I would like to say that based on the other parasites featured on the show, tape worms don't seem that bad. For example, one person told the story about his Willy Fish. As you can imagine by the name, the Willy Fish enters the body and lodges itself in the willy. This guy got it while peeing in the river. Actually, he tried to catch it before it made it completely in, but the tail slipped out of his hand. Delightful show. I recommend you all watch it.
3. I also watched the show about Jonestown. Very interesting show with the real people from all sides narrating the story including Jim Jones' son who was extremely interesting and thought-provoking. He was especially candid when trying to answer whether he thinks he would have drunk the Kool-Aid had he been at the compound. His comments were fascinating.
Fire!
On Friday, my mom called to tell me the neighbor's house was on fire. It seems the neighbor was out working in the yard when he noticed smoke coming from the eaves. He quickly called his sister, who lives down the driveway, and she and her customer came running with fire extinguishers. Too late. The DNR and the fire department showed up to keep the trees wetted down and keep the fire away from the propane tank. The house went up so fast that even had they been living next door to the fire department, they most likely wouldn't have been able to stop it. The house had no smoke alarms so everyone can be thankful that it went up when it did.
My dad ran over to take some pictures (Yes, I thought this was a little odd, but apparently the newspaper needs something). Anyway, the photos arrived in my inbox with a little more information.
While the house burns...
The firemen watch it.
Tim (the owner) and his dad (the former owner) watch it go.
The good news is that amazingly it turns out Tim was insured. I'm sure the premium was quite large, but it seems he took out a loan to pay for it instead of buying on contract. The bank quite rightly insisted on Tim having insurance. While he's really upset about losing everything, at least he won't be totally screwed in the money department - something one usually isn't able to say about Tim.
I Just Remembered Why I Never Go to the Doctor
Yesterday was like the day from hell. It started off pretty normally. I went to work and everything was fine. At 10:30, I got a call. My grandmother was falling, acting strange and needed to be brought into the doctor. Since I'm the only one with a job where I can just leave without losing salary or taking vacation, I was nominated. Oh joy.
When I got to her apartment, there were 40 people waiting for the elevator. As that would mean a half hour wait, I climbed the stairs. All 12 flights. Thankfully, my grandmother was dressed when I got to her place and we only needed a half hour to put her shoes and coat on and get out the door. A minor miracle.
Next came the real fun - getting into my truck. My admin was bright enough to have called down to facilities and managed to get me a step stool, so at least we had that going for us. After about 10 minutes of wrangling, my grandmother and all of her things were in the car.
Urgent care was a fun experience. They didn't want to see her because they couldn't do a full work up, but all I really wanted was a quick check of vitals and a test for UTI (which is generally what causes these symptoms). The waiting room had several hot guys coming in though. And I got to watch the Full House episode where Stephanie crashes the car into the house. Did I really watch this show as a kid?
The doctor was a nice young man (unmarried, I checked because V would expect me to), but totally out of his element when dealing with an elderly patient experiencing the problems that she was. He was kind of cute - Think Joe Mauer in a lab coat (Joe's not high on my scale of hotness but still not horrible). He was really nice to me and seemed quite earnest. I spent the entire time feeling horrible nausea because any medical facility makes me physically ill - the legacy of my wisdom teeth removal surgery. After waiting forever for the lab results, they decided she might have an infection. Yay this whole trip was not all for naught.
45 minutes of waiting for her prescription to be filled, followed by a seemingly endless, though yummy (they were serving fresh crepes for dessert) dinner and at 8 I was finally able to leave.
7 damn hours after starting out, I was finally done. I got home around 9 and crashed. Next time, I don't care if he doesn't get paid, it's A's turn.
Ow.
While Christmas shopping, I spent much of my time shopping for myself. The reason I have money is because I don't go near stores. Temptation stays far, far away from me. Christmas brings me into contact with many stores and many sales.
Anyway, I've been looking for a way to work my stomach muscles without killing my back. I've used an exercise ball at the club and it never seemed to bother my back too much, so I bought one for cheap. Last night, I started the exercise regimen. It didn't start off too tough but I only made it 25 minutes into the workout before I thought I was going to die and had to stop.
Do you know what hurts today? My upper back, my lower back, my delts, and my knees. You know what doesn't seem to have any significant pain? My stomach muscles. So basically, I nearly killed myself for nothing. I've never had knee pain before and my back can't take this.
Swimming is great for all of my joints and my delts, arm and leg muscles, but it does nothing for my stomach. Why can't there be a way for people with major back problems to exercise their stomach muscles?
Things To Celebrate
1. Have you seen gas prices? They're under $2 a gallon. So excited.
2. Flights to Fort Myers cost $250. My corporate discount means I can rent a car for just over $100. With the free condo, the trip is really cheap. Even if I can't convince family/friends to join me, the trip is pretty cheap. Maybe I'll go there instead of buying a dishwasher. It's cheaper.
3. I got an e-mail the other day that may completely change my spring travel plans. Could be a blast.
4. I keep getting checks in the mail. And not small ones either. This is a trend I can definitely start to like - even if it does mean I have to go to the bank.
Phone Weirdness
Last week, I received a call from a friend. I called her back, got her voice mail and because I was driving I decided to call later and hung up. Ten minutes later I got a call from her. Or at least my phone said it was her. When I picked up, this guy on the other end demanded to know who I was. He was quite rude and I wanted to point out that he had called me, not the other way around. I eventually hung up on him.
Five minutes later I got a call from my friend, N. After an initial greeting she told me about the strangest conversation. She said she called my phone and this really weird guy answered. When she asked for E he got really rude and started yelling at her about how he didn't know an E. That was apparently the point where he called me to harass me.
I'm hoping rude guy was Caleb. Sadly, I can't call him back to find out because he apparently lives at both my mobile number and N's. Very strange.
Weekend Online
This weekend I used my computer at home. Shocking, I know. I went on for two things -1. To view Rachel's profile on Match and check out her competition and prospects
2. To set up my invite to a file sharing community
Rachel's profile is hot. Good job, Dawn. (No, you can't set one up for me. I apparently already have one that details exactly nothing about me.)
Her competition sometimes tries too hard - "...subverting the dominant paradigm is always fun on a rainy Tuesday afternoon." Are you kidding me?
Or instead of posting pictures of herself, one girl had two pictures of cows. Not a picture of her with a cow. Just the cows.
The prospects are interesting - if a little bit young. Was I like that at 25? Was I
ever like that? Whoever thought that so many guys were stuck in their college partying days who think that bragging about it is going to get them the hottest of dates. And apparently, all they ever do is workout. Seriously, Match is like the Mecca for serial jocks.
The file sharing thing is awesome. I even got Monster Ballads and VH1's Top 100 1 Hit Wonders. They have anything and everything in the community. It's really strict though and getting an invite is hard.
Little White Lies
There are times in life where the little white lie is an important part of getting along in a relationship. However, there are other times where not saying anything or rewording something is a better way to go.
For example, someone's baby looks really bad, there's a giant red pulsing thing on its head and its face looks like it had fallen out of the ugly tree, hitting every branch on its way down. You see said baby - Do you
A: Remark on how ADORABLE and SWEEEEET the baby looks
B: Comment about being a new parent, ask after the kid's name or something equally innocuous without flat out lying about how beautiful the baby is
See here when you tell that lie, the parent is going to know you're humoring them. Because while most parents are biased towards their children, they do recognize that the pulsing thing on the head is quite disturbing. I despise gushing baby lovers who can only coo about how adorable an ugly baby is. If I were to have a child (proud parent notwithstanding), I'd be really annoyed with someone for lying. Comment on the cute outfit or something if you have to find something ABSOLUTELY THE CUTEST THING EVER.
Random Conversation
Here's a snippet of a conversation I had last night:
E: I've been debating heading down to Fort Myers to watch the Twins in spring training.
J: That sounds like fun. You should definitely go. When is it?
E: Anywhere from mid-February to the end of March. I don't know. I'd have to look at a schedule to see when they play at home.
J: Well, our condo is really close to there. Let me know when you want to use it.
E: Ummm...okay?
Who knew I knew so many people named J who would provide free lodging in order for me to watch baseball?
Saving Money is Fun
Recently, I have been exploring the blogs of the really cheap and frugal. While I freely admit that I am the cheapest person I know, I am happy to see that there are a lot of other people out there like me. Their blogs have given me all kinds of ideas on how to save - although some of these people do seem to have gone beyond me to a whole new level of cheapness.
For example, one woman is now tracking the yearly rate of consumption of personal care products like shampoo and toothpaste so that she can accurately assess how much she needs to buy in bulk for the products to last the year (apparently lasting more than a year is not an option).
Another person is trying to max out retirement (401K + Roth IRA) savings at 32.3% of his annual income. Ouch. I'm sure he makes more money than me.
Still others have taken the ultimate financial approach and are analyzing the opportunities costs of a higher down payment, lower down payment - investing the rest, or prepaying the mortgage.
I liked this most of all - "Frugality is the activity required for me to live below my means. Stinginess is the activity of requiring others to participate in my frugality."
No, he's not dead
I was finally, blissfully asleep at 10:30 last night when my damn phone rang. It was my mother who was convinced that my brother was dead or greviously injured because he wasn't answering his mobile or home phones. I gave her various plausible reasons why he wasn't answering either and she got quite upset with me that I wasn't as worried as her and hung up.
So he hadn't answered the phone in four hours. Maybe he was at the movies (and he'll sometimes see three in a row - sneaking into the last two without paying), maybe he just forgot to turn his phone back on, maybe it was loud where he was and he didn't hear his phone ringing. Nothing seemed to convince her he wasn't dead.
What did she expect me to do?
In case you are wondering, my brother is fine. Or at least someone is doing a fine job of impersonating him because I've received e-mail from him this morning.
