Weekend Recap
Friday night I had a dream. The Twins were playing in Sioux Falls at the Fargodome (don't ask). Apparently, North and South Dakotans were supposed to get in on the fun. Anyways, Sarah brought her dog who was wearing a Rivas jersey. Sometime during the game, the dog got loose and attacked Castillo biting him in the ass. Then I woke up.
Saturday, I cleaned out my closets. When you stay in one place for four years, you accumulate a lot of stuff. I threw a lot of stuff away. Now my closets are beautifully empty and organized. I also carved a pumpkin with S, had some excellent curry chicken for dinner with creme brulee for dessert and made a huge chunk of change in the process.
Sunday, I cleaned out some other closets, bleached my kitchen, swept and mopped the floor.
Monday, I had a "meeting" downtown. We went to the Guthrie and took a tour, had lunch, went back to our meeting space and left at 2:45. I spent much of the day thinking about all of the things I really should be doing at the office. However, this did not inspire me to enter the office when I was dropped off yesterday (I carpooled from my office building with some coworkers so I could have done some work).
Last night I watched the first two hours of VH1's 100 Greatest Songs of the 80s. I could not turn it off even though I was ridiculously tired. So far though, the songs have been mostly hits from the early eighties. I'm expecting things to get better as we hit 50.
Note to Self: Never Move to the UK
I was reading the Daily Brickbat today and found out that in addition to restricting girly drinks and nicely decorated bars, the government in England is now pushing for a ban on "vertical drinking". That is, they want to require bar patrons to be seated in order to get a drink. The theory is that drinking while standing contributes to violence and other anti-social behavior. Yeah, I've got nothing.
Also in England, a 64 year old woman was arrested after she prodded a 15 year old gang member who along with his friends had encircled her spewing insults and taunts as she tried to walk her dog. After prodding the kid, who is seven inches taller than the woman, to try to get him out of her way, he threw her to the ground, breaking her arm. The woman has been arrested on charges of assaulting a minor. No charges have been filed against the arm breaking teenager. Lovely country.
In Saudi Arabian news, the provincial government of Makkah has banned the sale of cats and dogs. The move came at the request of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice, which claimed people are taking their pets out into public and upsetting families with small children. While the story itself is amusing, I love that they have a Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice. I'm totally setting up my own commission.
Tequila Really Does Make Your Clothes Fall Off
A "unique study" finds that women aged 17-30 in Ireland and England are the world's biggest binge drinkers. The numbers are pretty pathetic: Four drinks in one night, once every two weeks, qualifies a woman as a heavy drinker, and only one woman in three can meet that standard. But it doesn't take much to motivate a government advertising campaign across the pond. The theme this time around? Nice young ladies who drink get sexually assaulted. And in the event that women continue to drink after the alcohol-means-rape warnings, doctors want bar owners to stop marketing to
children women:
"Doctors also blame the drinks industry for deliberately targeting women with female-friendly drinks and decor. They want ministers to exercise more control instead of allowing the industry to self-regulate."
Ah yes, female-friendly decor. Little known fact: All women become incapable of resistance at the sight of shiny pink interiors. 'I should stop drinking, I've really had enough but oh, the bar is so pretty, I simply must have another.'
An even more disturbing thing to come out of this article is that the government is considering tightening the laws so that even consensual sex is rape if the woman is drunk. It is apparently impossible for women to take responsibility for themselves. We need the government to come and protect us from the evils of girly drinks.
Doctor, Doctor Give Me the News
It's that time of year again - Benefits open enrollment. This year my company has decided to screw me over with new health insurance options. Yes, they dumped the cheap, I-Never-Visit-the-Doctor plan and replaced it with a plan that costs twice what I was paying. So now I can go with the company sponsored plan, fork out $400 more a year for something I don't use or I can dump the company plan and go with a plan non-company insured people can get (the same insurance I had as an independent contractor). This plan saves me $300 a year over what the company wants me to do. Yes, the benefits are fewer, but I never reach the deductible amount anyway because I don't go to the doctor.
I want an insurance plan that pays for me if I'm seriously injured in an accident or contract some horrid disease or discover a chronic medical condition. Basically, I'll cover the first $10,000, the insurance can cover the million dollars after that. Why is this not an option? It's super cheap for the company.
HR sucks. A lot. And they tried to portray this change as how the company was helping me, blah, blah, blah. No, what they have done is completely hosed everyone at the lower end of the scale, so that they can get a discount for themselves at the top end.
They also know exactly zero about how to compare the plan I was on with the plan I can now get through them. They just refer me to some stupid proprietary tool, eValuator, to assess which plan is best for me. I know what plan is best for me based on their options, I want a side by side comparison.
I have two weeks to decide if I'm dropping the company coverage.
Notes from the Field
- I switched from my summer quilt to my down comforter yesterday. It vastly improved the heat situation in the bedroom.
- My grandmother has a lot of stuff. Too much of it came home with me on Saturday.
- While living alone, one should not watch horror movies before going to bed. The movies themselves aren't inherently scary, but it's a bit creepy with shadows and whatnot after turning out the lights. That said, I shut my bedroom doors and I was fine.
- Speaking of slasher films, one movie I absolutely want to see is BEHIND THE MASK: RISE OF LESLIE VERNON. "Behind the Mask begins as a viciously smart deconstruction of the slasher film, a nuts and bolts breakdown of the formula that made the genre in the first place, all presented to the audience by Leslie Vernon, a friendly, funny, eminently likable young man who just so happens to want to kill people. But as the film progresses it slowly warps and mutates until it ceases to be a meta-film about slasher films and becomes a ripping slasher picture itself." I'm interested to see what A thought of it.
- I reconfirmed this weekend that St. Paul is really far away. I've also confirmed that deer live between my house and there.
- I ran out of books to read this weekend. It was horrifying. I've reread pretty much
everything in my closet in the last few weeks so I was very upset.
- I bought doorstops yesterday.
Song of the Day: Rock Me Amadeus
I called my brother yesterday. He was currently parked on the side of 94 just outside of Chicago with a flat tire. The flat tire was on the road side of the car. I told him he really, really needed to try to get off the freeway or call a tow because if he goes out to change the tire, he's insane. The conversation went something like this:
E: You're going to die if you go out there. Call for help.
A: No, I'll be fine. It'll cost too much to call for someone.
E: I think you're nuts.
(A gets out of the car - lots of traffic noise)
A: Oh my God. I'm going to die.
(A gets back in car)
A: I have to change my tire. Will you stay on the phone with me, so if I die, you'll know?
E: Okay.
He then proceeded to empty his trunk, lose the key that allows for removal of the lug nuts, jack up the car and then hang up on me. A few minutes later he called back.
A: We're good now. I'm back on the road. I only had to dive out of the way once.
E: Good job. Now get off and find a tire place.
(E looks up tire place near the Schaumberg IKEA and hangs up)
And his update this afternoon described a hit and run incident in Toronto. I wonder if he's now regretting the drive. I expect a full scale blizzard to affect his drive home.
Song of the Day:
Moon River Honorable Mention - Old Yeller (Best doggone dog in the west)
Darkness Falls Across the Land...
Here's a question for you, my loyal readers - Do I ever complain about my job on this blog? About specific work people or events? I try to avoid any mention of this but maybe I slip. Anyone think of anything other than the bomb threat posts?
In other riveting news, I am now apparently on Ramada's e-mail list. They want me to stay there over Thanksgiving. I wonder if they've decided to bring back pillow cases. That's a cost saving measure that didn't seem to pan out real well.
Song of the Day: Karma Chameleon (you come and go)
Cancel the Plan. They Have Spytech.
Election day is coming up and it can't come soon enough for me. I am unable to watch anything on network television because I refuse to watch political ads - especially the ads for people who are not in my district. I talking to you Patty Wetterling.
I've been spending my time watching other channels. I'm an especially big fan of the 80s channel which I don't so much watch as listen to. The other night I was cooking and doing the Electric Slide in my kitchen (It's electric!).
In addition to not wanting to vote for any candidate whose ads I see, the amount of signage in the yards is horrible. Ms. Ortman, you lost my vote when you voted against the stadium, your signs irritate me to the point where I want to campaign for your competition. Except that I read her campaign brochure and I can't bring myself to vote for that either.
No, I would be avoiding the polls this year if it wasn't for that fact that I got this nice little brochure from the school district wanting me to vote "YES" to a couple of levies. Two years ago they came to me and said that they needed to remodel the high school and build an elementary school. The people said yes. Now they want a whole new high school and want to increase spending per student by $238. The annual effect on my tax bill? $250. Absolutely not. No, no, no. That's an almost 20% increase in my property taxes coming on the heels of an already significant tax hike for the schools a couple years ago. This doesn't take into account the increase in taxes for other municipal purposes. Go away. We don't need schools.
Places to Go, People to See
One of these days, I'll get to the bank. It always happens that I go to the bank and the next day I end up with another check. So I've been putting off going and now I have way too many checks in my wallet and I'm going to get in trouble if I don't deposit them.
Sadly, they've closed one of the main roads heading west which adds a few thousand cars to my route to and from work. If I don't head right home after work, I end up stuck for a half hour waiting at the stoplights. As it is, I've been considering adding an extra ten miles to my trip to avoid the 30 minute wait in the morning to clear the lights. It might be worth it to cross the river and then cross back to avoid this ridiculousness.
There is no bank near me. As soon as the construction ends, I'll try to get to the bank. Really. I promise. No promises as to when the construction might end though.
A is for Apple
After spending all of Saturday writing a paper on Ann Bancroft, I was all ready Sunday to do something a little less computer and studying involved.
(side note on the paper - S had 12 notecards, some with only one sentence on them, that we were supposed to magically turn into a four page paper. Not happening.)
Anyway, Sunday was beautiful. The weather was perfect. I opened the windows, decided they were dirty and attempted to wash them. (Note to self - without the use of ladders, this is quite dangerous. Don't do it again.) Around one, after the window fiasco, I decided I needed to do something. Something that involved the outdoors and some physical activity. So I got in my truck and drove to Goodwill, which involved none of these things. After not buying anything, I drove south. After a slight detour to Belle Plain, I went to Minnesota Harvest where I was both outdoors and working in some capacity. I got onto the wagon, rode out into the orchard and picked myself a peck of apples. Deciding which apples may in fact have worms in them is a good game.
I went home and started eating the caramel apple pull apart I bought. I began thinking about what baked products I have recipes for that call for apples. Pie, bread pudding and apple crisp all came to mind. We'll see how motivated I am to actually bake this week. If it's cold, I can always use the oven to help heat the house. I refuse to turn the heat on.
Back to School
Tomorrow I have the ever so exciting task of helping a fifth grader write a rough draft of a major (major for a 5th grader that is) research paper. This was a very exciting process last spring when we wrote a paper about the state of Arizona. Now the notecards are supposed to be finished so all that falls to me is to type the thing while working to not plagarize the entire report. The whole plagarism concept is hard for the students to grasp. From past experience, I know that the sources being used for the notecards are being quoted word for word, so at least I know what to avoid.
Last spring, we got an A on the report. S and I work well together. I tell her what she can't write and help her along as she tries to rephrase to convey the facts. She got pretty good at understanding how to change things and still get the point across. Here's hoping she remembers because there is nothing worse than dealing with explaining why simply changing pretty to beautiful in a sentence does not mean we aren't still copying the text.
The Topic Today is...
Umm...Vacation spots.
I'm desperately in need of a vacation. I can't take one right now as I'll be going to Las Vegas in a few weeks, but I'm thinking about where I want to go next spring. I'm thinking of making my May trip an annual thing. Places I am thinking of:
Scotland, Wales, England - I went to London and Dover last spring. The weather was nice, the tourists were limited and I had a blast. I'd love to travel to some of the more remote places England and visit the highlands of Scotland. I think I could see a lot in 10 days. Especially when you consider how E spends time on vacations - I see it, maybe take a picture, move on. Done.
Ireland - I've been to Dublin and Belfast (different country I know) and I'd like to go back, this time exploring the less travelled parts of the country. The unrest seems to have quieted. The last time I was there, there were bombs and riots and not so great stuff going on.
Greece - One of the best friends I ever had lives in Greece. She kept me sane during an extremely difficult time. I've lost touch with her in the past couple of years. But if I could find her (I'm definitely going to make an effort to find her regardless), I'd love to fly out and see her then maybe do a quick tour of the country. Greek natives are always helpful when travelling in Greece.
Dalmatian Coast - I've always wanted to see Dubrovnik and Split. They're supposed to be fantastic. I went to Ireland instead of visiting this coast with David and Josh. I am still happy with that decision. They've built a bridge in Mostar now too. I'd love to see it. I could also tack on a trip to Budapest to check out my old haunts.
Australia or New Zealand - Two very different countries but both in the same general part of the globe. New Zealand has no snakes though so that's a big plus in my mind.
Somewhere in South America - Don't know where I'd go, but it could be fun. Maybe visit the Mayan ruins somewhere. I don't know.
Alaska - Could be fun. Though it's a bit like parts of Montana and Wyoming.
Russia - St. Peterburg and Moscow though far apart seem like absolutely fascinating places to visit. The whole invite/visa thing will be a pain and my Russian skills are sadly lacking, but I'd love to go.
Eight Choices. How much would each likely cost me? That'll narrow things a bit. Do I feel comfortable visiting some of these places alone? Narrowed further. Right now I'm leaning towards English speaking places. Unless I can get a hold of Mala, then I'm totally heading to Greece. Can anyone think of reasons why I should/shouldn't go to any of these places?
Dear Company I Work For,
I am writing to express my concern about your lack of concern for my safety. Yesterday, we had a bomb threat. It was very specific and involved a domestic dispute. These are the types of threats that are carried out. My safety is of paramount importance. Someone calls in a bomb threat, you evacuate immediately and investigate. What you do not do is blatantly LIE to your employees and a couple hours later decide to tell them to leave. Not only did you put the receptionist in the untenable position of lying to people, but you needlessly endangered the lives of every single one of your employees.
What else have you been lying to me about? What other threats have come in that you've pushed aside as not important? We deal in crazy people. People who blame our products for causing them to have their children taken away, for losing their jobs, for not graduating from high school, for labelling them in prison. You don't mess with psychopaths. Get everyone the hell out and then investigate the credibility of the threat - not vice versa. Livid and bitter do not even begin to cover my feelings on this topic.
Sincerely,
E
FYI - A real letter that's more polite, diplomatic and more to the point has been drafted and will be copied to my boss, her boss, HR and facilities. This was not cool. You don't mess with people's safety. Ever.
Is it a bomb threat or not?
Question: If someone calls in a bomb threat what do you do?
A - Evacuate the top floor of the building and not tell anyone else in the building about it for two hours
B - Not allow anyone into the building, telling them about the threat but once again not informing anyone else in the building about it
C - Begin evacuating all of the floors with the floor specifically threatened being the last one told to get out
D - Make those who have been evacuated stand right next to the building that may blow up
E - All of the above
Can you guess which answer my company went with?
Armed and Dangerous
Oh look my friends, I passed. Should I so choose, I can now apply for my conceal carry permit. Though I don't really have any desire to do so, it was a fascinating class on the law.
One thing I learned from the class is that it's a lot easier to hit something closer up. Also, a bigger target helps. No wonder we were so demoralized when we practiced. The shooting score we had to get at the range was 105/120. I scored 120/120. Pop cans of the world, look out.
I feel like I should write something
But, really, I've got nothing. It's autumn, the weather is beautiful, the traffic is horrendous again, and I have to see a Jessica Simpson movie tonight. God, I'm going to need a lot of liquor if the Twins can't pull it out this afternoon.
More Letters
Dear Torii,
I'm not upset about you missing the ball (although what the hell were you thinking?). No, what upsets me is your offense. Let's review shall we? Michael and Justin open the inning with back to back jacks. We've now tied the game, the crowd is going insane, a new pitcher is in, there are no outs. Did you get that Torii? No outs. So the goal here is to keep the inning going. Get on base get some more hits. What the hell are you doing swinging at the first pitch? You're not hitting a home run here. If you get 12 million next year I'm going to be sick.
Much Annoyed,
E
Dear MLB Commissioner Bud Selig and the ESPN/FOX People,
Did you see the Yankee game last night? Oh, it was rained out and they have to play at noon today? I'm sorry. Did you know that there was a team with an indoor stadium playing yesterday? No rainout possible in that situation. Definite prime time baseball action. Did you know that the Mets also played yesterday in the afternoon? Did you notice that it didn't rain then? Yes, had the Yankees played an afternoon game there would have been no problem. Hmmm.
Helpfully,
E
PS Not informing the Tigers that the game was called so that they warmed up their pitcher is majorly unfair. You suck big time for that.
Dear Beer Throwing Guy,
I'm sure weighing over 3 bills is fun for you, but do you think you could take a shower every once in a while? Also, throwing beer at people is not cool. I'm glad you were thrown out.
-E
Dear Usher,
You are awesome. From taking on the guy about 150 pounds heavier than you to that adorable grin you gave when the idiot next to me served the beach ball right into your hands, you were the highlight of the game.
Fondly,
E
Dear Guy Behind Me Who Wanted My Neighbor's Beer,
Much as I would have loved to help you get that beer, the five dollars you offered me was not going to cut it. Especially not with my dad at the game with me. Had I had some alcohol of my own and been out with friends - No, it wasn't too much to ask. Plus with $5, I could get more tequila postgame. Sadly, the circumstances were all wrong.
Better Luck Next Time,
E
Letters of October
Dear Johan,
You are the best! I'm sorry your team sucked.
Love,
E
Dear Twins Offense,
Stop sucking. This swinging at the first pitch has to stop.
Pleadingly,
E
Dear Twins Ushers,
It would help if you'd open the windy doors so people can more quickly exit the stadium. Just a hint.
Regards,
E
Dear Ticket Assigning Computer,
Thanks for getting me seats on the aisle in a section that leads directly out the stadium door into the exact side of the Dome I need to be on. I was at home (HOME! 40 miles away!) before half the people waiting for the train even got on.
Thanks again,
E
I apologize
In my previous post I may have slightly insulted the Kansas City Bullpen. Apparently, they took it as a challenge. Nice work Joe Nelson and Jimmy Gobble. I never knew you had it in you.
While I am delighted the Twins won the Central Division Title, I am less excited about having to take two days off of work this week. Noon games? Who the hell planned that? Why could we not have the 3:00 game? Yankees suck.
In other news, my garage is wonderfully clean and tidy now. As is the inside of my car. I spent a productive day cleaning, washing and rearranging yesterday while the Twins conveniently had all of their fun during the heat of the day right when I needed to take a break. It was a little confusing listening to the game on the radio though, because Herb would say something about the pitcher getting set and then the whole crowd would erupt in the background. 10 seconds later Herb would say, "Here's the pitch." Thankfully, he helped out by updating the KC-DET score.
